Country Woman Studio

Never Mind the Mess…

gouache+watercolor painting by l.a.scott

Vineyard + Pastures

Vineyard + Pastures

Vineyard + Pastures in Winter

 

Vineyard Winter

Vineyard Winter-Chardonnay after Pruning

The Sun Appears!!!
I have missed you, sun!

vineyard-l.a.scott

Vineyard Gate Shines after Weeks of Rain

 

vineyard-l.a.scott

Long Shot at Sunset

“Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us.
Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.”
― Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Moon Woman

I am very weary lately.

My body has been behaving badly. Chronic illness never lets you forget you cannot reach what you cannot find. It is a lonely place where the one who is ill is often invisible or good at pretending everything is fine. However… No thing is fine. I have a complex mess of autoimmune diseases. As I age, I get more because my immune system is not doing what it was designed to do.
HEAL the body!

frida kahlo painting body cast

Frida Kahlo once said she painted her pain upon her body casts because she had to. I understand.
As time went on to it’s inevitable destination, she said she did not need feet as she had wings to fly.
Fly she did…

A new immune disorder has emerged this past few years. Asthma.  The diagnosis explains much of what has plagued me for decades.
Mast Cell Activation Disorder/disease/syndrome.(they haven’t decided at last check)

With this comes a hematologist, allergist, pulmonary specialist, cardiologist, GI doctors, neurosurgeons(degenerative discs), oral surgeon …  As life would have it, my doctor of 20+ years retired last year to sail the Pacific. And he is. His departure led me down a rabbit hole. I didn’t have the heart nor energy to find another doctor in my journey toward some semblance of health. I was tired with little money to spend out of pocket. It was difficult and grim to face so many unexpected, troubling obstacles AND find another doctor to take his place. I did nothing for a year and more.

Life goes on,
la dee dah…

Any blood disorder involving the white blood cells isn’t good. Mine are dying or degenerating… they’re not supposed to do that. Remnants of these cells lodge in the body where they don’t belong, like the esophagus, lungs, stomach. Even the brain. They cause a vast network of inflammation and disease that is little understood.

 I have disease in all these places.

Doctors had few answers  until recently. In my case – possible Eosinophilic mastocytosis. [Doubtful on the spelling]
There is no cure. There is no cure. There is no cure.

Sort of bothers bothers bothers me. Point being, what. why. Oh, and now what.

We shall see. I’m not much into being bored for a spinal tap but, IF needed, I hope they can do it whilst I’m under anesthesia. 3 hours seems long enough for the whole place to get their work done given a good coordinator, whom I have found, and a very demanding patient BEFORE needles go in.

I must share One lovely discovery several days ago.

I had seen a little hummer nest in my olive tree. She had laid three tiny eggs. I have no idea how this little being could sustain herself so well with the pouring rains, frightening winds and swaying branch! But her nest has held tightly and with my binoculars I spy two tiny hummies, peaks pointed upwards.. I put a feeder just close enough to give her at least a bit of what she needed. And, fingers crossed 🤞 I think they will make it. I consider it an omen. 😊

native-birds-hummingbirds

Hummingbirds

So that’s my excuse for the sudden silence which might look like a lack of care when really I simply can’t get out of bed or string words together. Somehow next week I have to because I have a couple of docs to see. And inevitable blood work and such.

One is my good old GI doctor of over 30 years.  I am having a double scope to avoid two anesthesias since they need to really peer inside my entrails from one end to the other and pick away for a few hours. And I’m not as young now so I guess they will be gentle? Hah!

I have a dysfunctional esophagus that needs some help and, thanks to ulcerative colitis, I grow bad polyps amongst other things and am 2 years behind on my colonoscopy schedule. Don’t think I didn’t know that. It’s just I was missing some pertinent information. Like they were “precancerous” last time.

You would think this would scare me but it’s not the first time nor the last.

He tells me he’ll fix that nasty prep so it stays in me and exits, not via my mouth, but the other end. Do I believe that? Hah, hardly! They’ll have to use a hose. It’s not my problem and I’m sure they will.

Just Raining Here

Really all it’s doing here is raining anyway. SAD [or depression] is slightly a problem! That and many other things…. in all these years in this medium, I think this might be my most depressing post but life sometimes becomes more than one needs to cope with.

Especially of late.
I look forward to my favorite season when my roses bloom and I can sit in the blessed sunlight, visualizing its healing warmth bringing New for yet another season.

Little Sunflowers

Little Sunflowers

In order to make progress, there is only NATURE,

and the eye is turned through contact with her.

Paul Cezanne

Mallard Duck with Babies
Spring Flowers

Narcissus blooming in breaks between rain

Spring Flowers

There are obvious advantages to endless days of rain – like an end to a long drought in California – and wildflowers starting to pop up in the 70 degree weather.

 

Wild Callas amongst the wisteria

Wild Callas amongst the wisteria

 

Gratitude is the Heart’s Memory~
French Proverb

 

Rain storm

Rain storm

A great big downpour!

 

duck duck goose

duck duck goose

And the vineyards wake up.
To us, it’s always too soon for a much needed break to come to an end… again!
Especially when the wet weather has kept us from getting any garden chores started! STARTED… how about finished? I think not… At least not for now.

I really need a gardener because as I get older and farmer also goes in the same direction, well, we’re starting to potter around and never get nearly enough accomplished.

Well, we did get a few of the end of season blackberries because farmer loves them in anything with baked dough in it… of course!
🙂

Blackberries + The Farmer

Blackberries + The Farmer

This is a photo of a vineyard that is halfway thru pruning. I’ve gotten tired of making wreaths with all the cuttings, with several laying around “drying” in the rain!

 

Vineyard Pruning

Vineyard pruning

 

There are always flowers for those who want to see them.
Henri Matisse

 

 

 

deer skull

I wander the hills, at times finding animal bones that sustained coyotes I heard celebrating into the night. Knowing they howl when they make a kill, the bones are a stark confirmation ~ they do rejoice!

At 2AM I lay awake, listening… Sometimes they come so close, I open my window and howl back, imagining their surprised brown eyes staring back at me. I hear them lope away thru the rustle of grass.

“Coyote under Red Moon” 🌙 critter painting for sale- $78. Gouache on Arches fine art wc paper. 8″square.

Now, after fall caresses the air and summer’s heat has done her work, I pack my treasures home. I’ve always collected nature’s gifts.  These bones are cleaned by nature’s whim, slowly stripped white.

Bones of a living being are metaphors that all is slowly evolving into something else.

sacral spine of deer

Deer Sacrum

 

deer spine found

I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape – the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn’t show. ~Andrew Wyeth

Art, Photography and Text by L’Adelaide, ©2010-1016. All rights reserved.

barn painting

 Through the Barn Window into Sunset

A stunning vista of light and shadow ~
A vision in greens, of large , shining puddles reflecting sky, a reservoir that is filling fast.
Blessed rain has been so ample, falling tonight again for what may be another gully-washer!

And
In seconds my view out the barn window was but a memory…

When it is dark enough,
you can see the stars.
~ralph waldo emerson

work horses _ Marin County

Work Horses – Marin County

 

 

 

©2008-2017 by L’Adelaide Scott. All rights reserved.