Country Woman Studio|L'Adelaide Paints|Meet the Cow Inseminator ~

 

barn roof lost


 

Meet the Cow Inseminator ~

· Once Upon a Time … A Story of ABSOLUTE FICTION ·



red landscape, watercolor+goauche “Red Landscape” by LA Scott, watercolor and gouache, 16×22″ Arches cold-press paper

Once upon a time in a land not too far away,
L’Adelaide, a cute city girl who cares too much about fashion
and doesn’t know what she’s getting into,
marries a lucky cattle rancher,
who doesn’t know either.

ladelaide goes to town-ephemera

 

Some years later, before the lucky rancher leaves to check the cows, he says to his wife, who is rendering lard from a pig’s head. (Yep)

portrait-of-pig-1970

“The inseminator is coming to impregnate that cow today.
I drove a nail into the beam just above the cow’s stall in the barn.
Just show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?”

The lucky rancher drives away to check the fat black mother cows with their calves romping nearby.

 When the inseminator arrives as expected, he loudly bangs the old iron bell hanging at the front gate, heralding his arrival but finding it impossible to get to the front door.

He doesn’t understand why no one is coming nor why someone limits access to a front door by unfamiliar men, lost drivers and/or trucks full of barn roofers.

gate latch-countrywomanpaints©

With an impatient sigh at the continual bell ringing, assuming he is clearly INto his occupation, she turns off the stove.
She grabs her sky blue cashmere shawl and red wellies, preparing to take the very dirty, impatient man to his waiting date.

cow barn-countrywomanpaints©

Stepping gingerly amid the cow “flops” and mud, she leads him silently to the barn.

muddy cows

They walk along the row of bovine derriere as the cows feast on breakfast. When she sees the nail pounded into the old beam,
she explains,

“This is the cow… Right here.”

The black cow in the stall is happily munching her hay. She turns to look at the small man peering at her other end and loudly snorts her opinion with a stamp of her hoof.

Unaware of his surroundings and curious as he pulls on long, filthy rubber gloves that reach to his armpits, he tries to chat (big mistake) as he moves closer to the cow’s rump, asking,

“Tell me little lady[exact words…],
How did you know this is the right cow to be bred?”

Shooting an “unfriendly” glance at the oaf by her side and pointing to the nail, she replies,

 By the nail over it’s stall,”

barn hook

Unable to contain his curiosity {or ignorance of a sharp pitchfork in the stall’s corner}, he asks,

“What’s the nail for?”

L‘Adelaide sighs and walks away, replying as she departs,

“I guess it’s to hang your pants on!”

§§§

I originally shared this little story years ago on a blog that is no more.
Recently it reappeared and still gives me a chuckle.
I thought I’d share it with you in case you are in need of one too.
A chuckle that is…. 2020 being what it’s become!

🙂

donkey-countrywomanpaints©

14 Comments

Artists Everywhere




“Point Reyes, CA” – watercolor LAScott

We are all artists. I know… You don’t believe me. Someday, look in the mirror.

Seek nothing as perfect as it already is.

I seek a glimpse of something other. The imperfect, the crooked, the fading…

Beautiful hues dance like music within an open mind. Blood flows thru my heart and then, upon my page.

Water and hue embrace. Vibrancy swirls and dances.

acrylic on paper
“BorderLine” – acrylic on paper

 

red landscape, watercolor+goauche “Red Landscape” by LA Scott, watercolor and gouache, 16×22″ Arches cold-press paper

Once upon a time in a land not too far away,
L’Adelaide, a cute city girl who cares too much about fashion
and doesn’t know what she’s getting into,
marries a lucky cattle rancher,
who doesn’t know either.

ladelaide goes to town-ephemera

 

Some years later, before the lucky rancher leaves to check the cows, he says to his wife, who is rendering lard from a pig’s head. (Yep)

portrait-of-pig-1970

“The inseminator is coming to impregnate that cow today.
I drove a nail into the beam just above the cow’s stall in the barn.
Just show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?”

The lucky rancher drives away to check the fat black mother cows with their calves romping nearby.

 When the inseminator arrives as expected, he loudly bangs the old iron bell hanging at the front gate, heralding his arrival but finding it impossible to get to the front door.

He doesn’t understand why no one is coming nor why someone limits access to a front door by unfamiliar men, lost drivers and/or trucks full of barn roofers.

gate latch-countrywomanpaints©

With an impatient sigh at the continual bell ringing, assuming he is clearly INto his occupation, she turns off the stove.
She grabs her sky blue cashmere shawl and red wellies, preparing to take the very dirty, impatient man to his waiting date.

cow barn-countrywomanpaints©

Stepping gingerly amid the cow “flops” and mud, she leads him silently to the barn.

muddy cows

They walk along the row of bovine derriere as the cows feast on breakfast. When she sees the nail pounded into the old beam,
she explains,

“This is the cow… Right here.”

The black cow in the stall is happily munching her hay. She turns to look at the small man peering at her other end and loudly snorts her opinion with a stamp of her hoof.

Unaware of his surroundings and curious as he pulls on long, filthy rubber gloves that reach to his armpits, he tries to chat (big mistake) as he moves closer to the cow’s rump, asking,

“Tell me little lady[exact words…],
How did you know this is the right cow to be bred?”

Shooting an “unfriendly” glance at the oaf by her side and pointing to the nail, she replies,

 By the nail over it’s stall,”

barn hook

Unable to contain his curiosity {or ignorance of a sharp pitchfork in the stall’s corner}, he asks,

“What’s the nail for?”

L‘Adelaide sighs and walks away, replying as she departs,

“I guess it’s to hang your pants on!”

§§§

I originally shared this little story years ago on a blog that is no more.
Recently it reappeared and still gives me a chuckle.
I thought I’d share it with you in case you are in need of one too.
A chuckle that is…. 2020 being what it’s become!

🙂

donkey-countrywomanpaints©

 

 

 

 

L'Adelaide

 

L’Adelaide

An artist + painter, synesthete, seeker + meditator, photographer, fair-weather gardener, writer, grape grower, cowgirl, grandmother, sky-watcher and English rose lover. Adorning my old straw hat with eagle feathers that fall in my path; whispered reminders from Mother Nature. Listening to the wind, looking up…

 


 

 

 

0 Comments

 

Artists Everywhere



“Point Reyes, CA” – watercolor LAScott

We are all artists. I know… You don’t believe me. Someday, look in the mirror.

Seek nothing as perfect as it already is.

I seek a glimpse of something other. The imperfect, the crooked, the fading…

Beautiful hues dance like music within an open mind. Blood flows thru my heart and then, upon my page.

Water and hue embrace. Vibrancy swirls and dances.

How? 💙

 

acrylic on paper

 

“BorderLine” – acrylic on paper

0 Comments

 

red landscape, watercolor+goauche “Red Landscape” by LA Scott, watercolor and gouache, 16×22″ Arches cold-press paper

 

Once upon a time in a land not too far away,
L’Adelaide, a cute city girl who cares too much about fashion
and doesn’t know what she’s getting into,
marries a lucky cattle rancher,
who doesn’t know either.

 

ladelaide goes to town-ephemera

 

Some years later, before the lucky rancher leaves to check the cows, he says to his wife, who is rendering lard from a pig’s head. (Yep)

 

portrait-of-pig-1970

 

“The inseminator is coming to impregnate that cow today.
I drove a nail into the beam just above the cow’s stall in the barn.
Just show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?”

 

The lucky rancher drives away to check the fat black mother cows with their calves romping nearby.

 

 When the inseminator arrives as expected, he loudly bangs the old iron bell hanging at the front gate, heralding his arrival but finding it impossible to get to the front door.

 

He doesn’t understand why no one is coming nor why someone limits access to a front door by unfamiliar men, lost drivers and/or trucks full of barn roofers.

 

gate latch-countrywomanpaints©

 

With an impatient sigh at the continual bell ringing, assuming he is clearly INto his occupation, she turns off the stove.
She grabs her sky blue cashmere shawl and red wellies, preparing to take the very dirty, impatient man to his waiting date.

 

cow barn-countrywomanpaints©

 

Stepping gingerly amid the cow “flops” and mud, she leads him silently to the barn.

 

muddy cows

 

They walk along the row of bovine derriere as the cows feast on breakfast. When she sees the nail pounded into the old beam,
she explains,

 

“This is the cow… Right here.”

 

The black cow in the stall is happily munching her hay. She turns to look at the small man peering at her other end and loudly snorts her opinion with a stamp of her hoof.

 

Unaware of his surroundings and curious as he pulls on long, filthy rubber gloves that reach to his armpits, he tries to chat (big mistake) as he moves closer to the cow’s rump, asking,

 

“Tell me little lady[exact words…],
How did you know this is the right cow to be bred?”

 

Shooting an “unfriendly” glance at the oaf by her side and pointing to the nail, she replies,

 

Unable to contain his curiosity {or ignorance of a sharp pitchfork in the stall’s corner}, he asks,

 

“What’s the nail for?”

 

L‘Adelaide sighs and walks away, replying as she departs,

 

“I guess it’s to hang your pants on!”

§§§

 

I originally shared this little story years ago on a blog that is no more.
Recently it reappeared and still gives me a chuckle.
I thought I’d share it with you in case you are in need of one too.
A chuckle that is…. 2020 being what it’s become!

 

 

 

donkey-countrywomanpaints©

 

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